“Ballad of the Shreddy and old Grey Beard”
Jumping out of a Malibu he stunned the crowd
with his wakeskate, board shorts and talking loud
sun tan muscles and G2 drink
braggin bout how his stuff don’t stink
I'm a wakeboard natural the best in the land
I've done it all I can even ride in sand
If there's a trick out there you think you know
Lay it on me man and I'LL do it for show
Then old Grey beard said you aint did jack
till you can do a shreddy, survive and come back
Only one man I know ever lived to tell
and by now that boys on his way back from hell
You gotta be the best to pass the test
If you can't fly then you might die
How long you rode, son you aint been far
unless you can do a ShreddyBoomBooNanar
The natural shrieked, I can do anything
tell me how it’s done cause skills I bring
I'LL bust it out, ten times in a row
Then do it again sideways just for show
The bearded one smirked then cranked up the boat
We gonna see just how good you float
Strap on your board and give it a fling
let’s see you do your natural thing
I'LL get the boat doing fity then speed up some
cause you got to go fast to make this run
Then do a real nasty heal side cut
till you feel the muscles burning down in your gut
By now I got the boat doing ninety eight
if not oh well it’s your life mate
pop a big Ollie at the crest of the wake
and hope you aint made the move too late
If you is still conscious from the high thin air
from the jump you just did then listen here
snatch a double back invert half cab Mobe
then line up the next move cause there's a whole lot mo
Now go into a SkeezerFrontside 900,FlipMobius Whirlybird X-Mobe Hoochy
Glide-to-Fakie Slurpy with an S bend Smoochy
Let go of the handle with an over mouth smother
With only one hand flicking boogers with the other
bout now you be thinking that feeling in yo pants
is getting kinda squishy and running like ants
only bigger and lumpy so the saying goes
you just shat yourself now eva body knows
Still high in the air but on his way down
The natural is spread eagle and flaylin around
his eyes bugged open and white as a sheet
like a half crazed billy goat he began to bleat
Save me somebody from this awful mess
I aint gonna make it or pass the test
I would rather be ate by a big ole shark
cause this landings gonna leave one hell of a mark
Late at night when the boats go home
and the moon is full and the waters calm
you can hear a faint voice as the wind goes by
from a natural man that was flying high
Never seen again from that fateful day
I'm the best there is he used to say
but now and forever as he wakes in the sky
don't try a shreddy or your bound to die
you gotta be the best to pass the test
If you can't fly then you might die
How long you rode, son you aint been far
unless you can do a ShreddyBoomBooNanar
Copyright the Wakeboard Geezer