Male Ego's, need input

Ok, been having a rough couple of days on the water, not riding wise, but company wise. None of my friends or family are into wakeboarding, so finding third's has always been difficult, until we got this new boat. So I invited some guys out from work, and I'l be honest, they're pretty hot, and I know I'm not all that attractive and whatever but tell me if you think this is outta line. So for a couple days in a row we spent the whole day out on the water, the first day wasn't so bad but yesterday was aweful. Let me preface this with I spent $133 on gas to fill the boat and they gave me a whoping $24 collectively and they are the ones riding 90% of the time. So yesterday was aweful. It was as if I wasn't even on the boat. They spent the ENTIRE time that they were in the boat talking about chicks and how they had to get some out on the boat. They complained about how there was no eye candy whatsoever on the boat except for for my friend brian (he's gay). And let me tell you, its a good thing I brought my gay friend cause no one watched at all when I was riding except for brian. I told them not to powerturn when they came back arround to pick me up, did they listen? No. They brought food and chips on the boat left a mess and somehow conveniently always have some place to be as soon as we get back to the dock. So my question is, is this how ALL straight guys are all the time? Am I going to have to deal with this all the time? Or are there decent guys out there with a little more respect, cause I'd like to ditch this crew for one that I can actually have fun with.. but.. I dunno. What would you do? I have the urge to call up one of them and tell him to take his friends and his male ego and find another boat to ride behind, but yet... then who am I going to ride with? Opinions?

I wouldn't even give them the courtesy of a phone call. Effum. There are plenty of cool folks out there. Getting to ride isn't worth that kind of garbage!

What he said.

what david didn't mention is its your damn boat! never ever in life invite them back! i'm having the same problem as far as finding people to ride with, finding a third and most of all finding any girls into the sport.. last season we didn't ask for any gas money.. and over the winter we mentioned it to everyone that rode with us... but still no one has offered anything up... but we've only been out a few times this year (short season in NY) so we'll see what the future brings!! i'm in the same position as you .. i'm just so happy to ride that i try not to complain... but man getting taken advantage of sucks!

~elle

#1 - don't put yourself down ... it's not all about looks. #2 - those guys on your boat may be hot, but they sound like tools. most days i go out, i'm the only girl with a crew of guys (who are all very hot; some are single, some aren't) and it's not my boat. and i do hear comments about girls, etc. BUT, the guys also point out hot boys for me, too, which is cool! mostly we talk about other stuff. we rotate 3 different boats and everybody always pitches in with the clean-up, inside and out, of all the boats. i usually pitch in $20 for gas just for myself (your boys need to buck up!) and i take short sets and am always willing to give up the good water for the better riders cuz it means more to them. i don't think you need to necessarily say anything to them; just don't invite them out again and they'll get the hint! you could find a third by posting on craigslist or posting something at your local boat/wakeboard shop, or even just going up to other people unloading their boats into the water and asking if they have a spare in their crew to ride with you for awhile. another option might be to narrow down the number of the guys. only invite 1 or 2; they'll probably be mellower that way cuz they won't have to show off for their buddies. p.s. brian better watch out - LOL!!! good luck!

Guys or chicas, if anyone had acted like that on my boat, I would have let them know that it is not OK and what you expected of them. I might have just left their asses somewhere else and said walk back a-holes. It is your boat and you make the rules. Everyone that gets on board cleans up when they are done. The boat has to look as good if not better than when they get on board. No one leaves until it is in this condition, period. Under 20 bucks a person on such a great boat is a joke. Just clarify things better before you go out the first time. Don't forget that a lot of people are jerks and some just do not think further than in front of their faces.

Bess, dont't cut yourself down because of a few dorks. Look at you, you've got an awesome boat, you're out there boarding. You're awesome don't forget it! As far as the crew, sounds like you just hooked up with some dorks. Most of my regulars are guys (found here on WakeWorld, thank you) and I have to say they are the coolest, most respectful, considerate bunch. They're out there, you just need to dial in to where and how people are hooking up rides in your area. And if I'm ever in Maine, I'm gonna look you up!

You are so right for feeling the way that you do! I am usually the only chic on our boat because I can never really get any chicks to go. But I can say that those guys you are letting go with you are complete tools and I would not let them on my boat EVER EVER again! They should be pitching in at least $20 each plus assisting with all the clean up afterwards. Plus they need to learn how to drive a boat because a power turn is a big no no when you are going to get your rider. All that does is muck up the water... I would try finding others with boats to ride with etc. and the heck with the losers at your work!

Bess,
We all make mistakes but now that You've had them on Your boat and you know what they are all about You will have no one to blame but Yourself if it happens again.

Stick with family, real friends and real wakeboard people.

Then again ... if you DO decide to invite them out and they make the eye candy comment again, tell them they ARE the eye candy and to sit down and STFU!!!

Thats GREAT !

They need to learn some manners and you should bXtch slap them off your boat. Sorry for your frustration, wakeboarding is suppose to be fun so dont let them ruin it for you.
If only all of us female riders were a bit closer to each other.

Wow, I'm just in shock that people would be that rude! I don't have a boat and am always at the mercy of others for rides and I wouldn't even dream of doing that. You pay, clean, and be respectful!


As for the comments they were making, I always ride w/ guys and guys will always make comments about girls but they shouldn't be saying things to make you feel bad. The guys I've ridden w/ have said things but never cross the line or have said anything that I've found to be disrespectful.

First of all...this is NOT a "male ego" thing as you mentioned above. This is a "respect" issue.

Remember...it's about PEOPLE and how the act...it's not a "Male" thing because women have the potential to be bizatches like these guys were too.

As for your question of, "Is this how ALL straight guys are all the time?" I've never met any guys (straight or gay) who would treat someone, let alone the boat, with that much disrespect. This is the craziest experience I've ever heard of. I mean come on...sometimes people who are new to boats might forget to take off their shoes or might lay their fins down on your seats/back deck so the fins could potentially tear the vinyl...but the way you were treated was unacceptable.

Don't forget to tell people who are new to your boat what your expectations are (taking off shoes before entering the boat, not eating like a frickin' slob, how much you expect for gas contribution, etc.) Lay down the rules before any guests enter your boat or this kinda' crap has the potential to happen and result in pissing you off.

Kick them to the curb and get some real friends...you've got lots of people on WW looking to have a good time that wouldn't take advantage of your hospitality in this way.

Best of luck to you with your new crew. Who knows, maybe your new crew will point out your old crew as "eye-candy" when they see them on someone else's soon-to-be-messed-up boat.

Wow! People can be so rude! I have found that new-bees on the boat sometimes have to be told the rules; food, money, boat duties, ect... I tell them once. If they don't respect my rules they do not get invited back. Once we had to fill up our boat on the water, everyone saw how much it was we never had another gas money issue!
As far as the rude comments...That would be it for me. No person, man or woman should have to put up that BS, especially on their own boat!! Keep trying to get your friends and fam interested. They will love it, and I am sure they will treat you better!

Never invite those guys AGAIN EVER! Or anyone else that treats you and/or your boat like that. If you don't have a boat you should at least understand that if you like to ride and dont have a boat it's because you don't want to spend that kind of money and time in one, which is why you should appreciate someone that wants to do it and invites you to their boat, even though it costs them a lot. This is why you should take care of it as if it were yours and ALWAYS pitch in for gas money, at the very least $15!!! And stay to clean up!

Next time when you invite friends (other friends not those lame excuses of men) tell them that theyre invited, and that $x per person is appreciated for gas money. If they go, dont give money, dont help clean up, dont invite them out again! They'll get the hint.

Hope I lived nearer so I could go with you, but if I'm ever there... Ill def give u a call! Hope you find a nice crew to ride with (and hopefully it will include lots of girls!)

I was thinking, invite them back out enjoy the eye candy and just ask them to step off the boat at some other dock and just leave them there and let them walk back. Throw there boards in the lake and let them go swim for them. Teach them a lesson!! Not nice but revenge can be soooooooo sweet. Head out to Cali, we have more respectful people out west!

It's a good thing all of us guys are not like that. The whole gas thing pisses me off. I don't even let my girlfriend fill her own tank in her car, I guess I'm a chump, but I do make alot more than her so I don't mind. The whole no eye candy comments, thats crap, like Kylie said it's not about looks. Its about having an awsome day on the water and appreciating that someone was nice enough to invite you out wakeboarding for a couple days and showing some damn appreciation for it, by treating the boat and her like you were making the payments and not trashing the interior and letting the owner clean it. Damn I hate rude inconsiderate people. But its alright though Bess, because its hard to wakeboard from the dock. They'll realize that when they see you put your boat in the water and there watching you drive away while they are still on the dock holding there boards.

This is what you do... Ask them if they brought gas money, and if they say no or it's simply not enough money do the fallowing. Go swimming, when they are in the water throw their boards at them, and move the boat 20 feet away from them. Ask them how it feels to not have a boat, or a boat to pull them on or even a boat that doesnt run on gas money. I HATE when people do not give gas money, or enough money or people who dont respect the boat. I don't take people out on the water if I know they will not give gas money. Last time I checked, I have never seen a tree that grows money on it. I also realized people who have boats, understand and always give gas money.

thanx guys for all the feedback, I'm glad you all feel the same way cause I was a bit torn, wasn't sure if I was overreacting or not but you all have shown me the light! God I love WakeWorld and everyone on it! Now if only everyone were so kind and considerate.... .

That is pretty ridiculous behavior of them. Definitely do not invite them back. I would slap someone if they powerturned the boat. I can't stand people who do not pay up (I collect eventually, most of the time at least), and who bring messy food. The messy food isn't much of an issue because I go so far as telling them what they cannot bring at least a day before.

As for my experiences, girls are almost always the ones who do not bring enough gas money. Also, my girl friends flake exponentially more than my guy friends, making the financial burden greater on us who do still come out since gas won't be split up with another person. Occassionally it is hard to get some girls on the boat, and it turns out to be a guys trip, but no big deal since we are out to wakeboard and surf, not get our mack on. "Eye candy" is always nice, but not necessary of course. The way your coworkers were talking sounds very inappropriate.

For all the comments, my experience is that it goes both ways. When I have lady friends on the boat, they always get really excited and make all kinds of comments when they see all the guys hanging out at Ski Beach when we stop for lunch.


Bess- Good luck with finding some different and better people to ride with. They are out there! Sorry you had to endure such garbage, it totally ruins the day, if not whole weekend...

My .02 Dont call, dont write, not even a hello. Its a beautiful boat and IT'S YOURS! No reason to pay for a day of fun if they cant respect you and your belongings. Remember the saying " MY BOAT RUNS ON GAS, NOT THANKS!!!" There is no reason for you to have to put up with the disrespect and total lack of courtesy. They're comments are way out of line and very rude. Time for new friends/co-workers. Good luck, and by the way, your boat is gorgeous!! Take Care

ok...im a guy..

this is what you do!

first of all, say peace. they will continue to use you for your boat. some guys are just like that, they are shallow! to me, the main problem sounds like your not that attractive, and you letting them walk all over you because of that. your imtimadated by their beauty. ha ha..

now, you dont want to ditch them because their hott, and you like your eye candy. right! right..

but guess what, there are other guys, some of which will be hott and maybe just some that are really cool. which would you rather have? a fun click at is responsible and well mannored, or a bunch of arrogant a-holes that dont give a crap about you or your boat.

IMO, the solution is quite clear...


for future reference- if you do find some other hott ones, stand your ground! don't tolerate any BS. The first time somebody gets out of line, let them know it was innapproaite. if they're going to ride in YOUR boat, they need to have respect.

YOU LET THEM SLIDE ONE TIME....guess what you got!


THE SAME SITUATION YOU JUST GO OUT OF!!!! DONT MAKE THAT MISTAKE.

Stoked - you might wanna take a look at her profile, cuz even I can tell that she's cute - even though she didn't give herself credit for it. I don't think she was "intimated by their beauty" - I think she didn't want to boot them because #1, they're co-workers and she still has to work with them every day and #2, they're the only people she'd found to ride with. I don't really think she invited them out because they're cute and I don't think she cares what her riders look like - she just wants to ride.

right....

i was just trying to help...

honestly though..i wouldnt want to go out with them again after hearing how they acted..

sound like jerks to me.. there are always new people that are willing to try the sport and guys and girls both love going out on the boat.

i would ditch em...

i agree ... there are way too many cool, fun people out there who are just happy to ride and will respect someone else and their property - no need to put up with the jacka$$e$!! p.s. wasn't knocking your comments - i just think they came across in a way you didn't intend ... but then again, apparently mine did as well! peace.

Male or female they should not be invited out again.They were RUDE no other way to put it.Taking people out on your boat should be fun.Don't sell yourself short to justify their behavior.You sound like a very sweet person,you don't have to take #@$% from JERKS.

oh man - a painful lesson learned... and what a shame, too. It could have been great to have such convenient riding pals. There's still a chance to correct this situation - invite them again, but also inform them of the "cover charge". If they don't pay, they don't play.

(Message edited by thegirl on August 23, 2006)

Bess, you've been on this message board for years and you know you got the support of all the WWers. You are one of THE staple woman on here, and you are so stoked on wakeboarding it's infectious. I think the real problem here is that these douchebags go out on YOUR boat and proceed to get shown up by a cool chick who rips much harder than them. I can see why they acted like tools, they got served. Keep your chin up, there are cool riders out there.

Amber, can I come wakeboarding on your boat. I promise not to spill chips everywhere and I can't think of a cooler thing than a 25 year old lass that owns her own wake boat. Be still my heart. Haha.

Bess,
Stand strong and find a new crew!! In fact find a lake that is about an hour away and invite those guys to meet you there!!!! And then not show up!!!! Give them an excuse like I didnt have enough gas money to get there!!!!

Anyway and this is to all of you out there. Going wakeboard is not about Hooking up or Scammin, it is about fun with friends and family.

Good Luck

Bess
They are tools. Find someone else. Don't let them use you and your cash....you will find someone else who can at least just ride along!
Good luck.