Who are you?

Posted this on another board and was proud of myself for being somewhat creative haha...

Which surfer are you?


Noobalicious Nancy - Noobalicious Nancy is the very first step. This is the guy/gal that takes 3-4 try's to get up, almost gets there then nearly gives up because they don't feel like wasting the drivers/other riders time. Noob Nancy is considerate, but would love to feel the success of riding on top of the water, so the rest of the crew roots them on to try once more, and in that last ditch effort of exhaustion, Noob Nancy gets up on the board for about 20 feet with a huge smile on their face but ends up falling backwards like they slipped on ice because their noob tendencies had them leaning too far back. Noob Nancy has now graduated to Beginner Ben status, but decides to chalk this one up as a victory and give someone else a turn.

Beginner Ben - Beginner Ben comes in with a vengeance. It's their second time trying this and they really feel like they've "got this" because of the 20 second ice slide they performed 3 weeks ago on their buddies boat. They've been bragging to all of their buddies/girlfriends about their 5 seconds of fame, and are ready to really get into the sport. Beginner Ben pops up after 2 tries, and happens to keep themselves from performing the dreaded ice slide that ended their last attempt. Ben's feeling good, and immediately masters the "I'm taking a dump" balancing act on the board. Still sitting way outside the wave, the crew in the boat starts pulling the rope into the wave so they can feel the push of a wake. Beginner Ben ends the day by being able to get into the pocket, but can't stop the yo-yo effect of dropping back, going forward, dropping back, going forward. If Ben let's the rope go, the rider's done. Ben has progressed, in his mind at least, exponentially that day, but still trying to drop that rope.

Intermediate Ivan - We call this rider I^2 (I squared). I^2 comes back the next day, same weekend, because he's just "gotta drop that rope". If I^2 does drop the rope, it's because the owner of the boat he's on has dialed in the wake, and is kicking up something massive. If Ivan can't quite get that sweet spot, it's because the boat owner hasn't figured out his end of the deal yet. We can classify this driver/boat owner as a Beginner Ben. This driver really has no place pulling an I^2 but does anyway, because why not? Gotta learn somewhere. The I^2 that's lucky enough to be rocking a dialed in wake drop's the rope on their 3rd or 4th try, and immediately yells at his bro's to toss him a cold one so he could perform the classic move made famous by youtube idiots everywhere. Ivan's on that wake, but not moving. Any change in position on the wave, and Ivan loses it. Somehow Ivan manages to drink about 1/3rd of the cold one, but loses that push and falls back. Luckily saves the beer, and is finishing it while his driver picks him up. He's done. Success... ropeless baby! Ivan stays at this level until he starts doing baby attempts at what Adam has accomplished.

Advanced Adam - Adams the man. This guy's figured it out. He can ride the entire usable pocket, and has learned the art of pumping on the wave. Adam's been able to do some hard cuts, wake slides, small airs, a 360, and a half assed version of a shove-it. Adam likes to go first to show off his skills, as well as get a second set in after he's had time to "rest" to really make himself feel good again. Adam's fun to watch, the opposite sex envies him, and gets laid 20x more often than Beginner Ben. Unfortunately, Adam isn't quite to the point of REALLY impressing, he leaves that to Eddie.

Expert Eddie - This rider makes Adam cry. It's even worse when Eddie is a female, and the best in the bunch just putting everyone to shame. Eddie has mastered the riding aspect. Perfect balance, control, etc. Eddie's now to the point of really making sure they have the perfect board for the conditions and style of riding they're "feelin" that day. 720's are no problem. Airs are 2 feet of the wave, if not higher. Shove-it's are performed with spins added in, sometimes while doing a handstand. Eddie is. the. shiznit. The only reason Eddie's not on the pro circuit is because, like most of us, they have other things going on in their life. Kids, work, school?. They may also not own their own boat, although unlikely given their skillset. Eddie makes everyone addicted to the sport, and gives that sense of competitiveness. Eddie's cool in other ways too though... Eddie gives as many pulls to Beginner Ben as he wants. Eddie also generally doesn't qualm too much over gas money, since he uses most of it anyway. Eddie's also a great teacher, and willing to let whoever wants to learn do so. Eddie rocks... we all wanna be Eddie. Unless....

Pro Rider Paul - Paul is Eddie on steroids. Paul has his own school, has been on the podium at comps on multiple occasions, receives free boats every year, and probably has a few other sponsors. Paul is likely under 30 years of age, and if he's older than that, it wasn't his surfing that got him there. Paul's cool too, cause he never asks for money and always has like 30 boards you can play with. His boat also comes with free pairs of Oakley sunglasses, and a towel with Pauls name and brand logo embroidered into it. Paul can do any trick in the book, and is trying to invent his own. He probably works closely with a board company to shape his own board that he collects royalties on. This is the guy everyone really wants to be... even Eddie. Paul has roughly 60k instagram followers, and receives 6000 likes for any given photo posted... with zero tags. Pauls livin' the dream we all wish we could live. Oh... and Paul has his own lake too, with a big *** house built onto it. All of his friends are always there. Never a dull day at Paul's.


So... which one are you?

Somewhere around Adam.
More like willy the wally.
Adam has me on the 360s and sweet airs bro

I think you need to add a guy between Ivan and Adam. Thats likely where i would fall, as well as most of the people i ride with.

I'm Adam. Eddie's a prick and an attention whore. He'll even admit it himself. Don't get me started with Paul......

Definitely need something between Ivan and Adam.

I'm past an Ivan and just about an Adam.

I got 360s down, although they are line ridden 360s because I'm riding a board that I'm 60lbs over the weight limit on and it's hard to recover from a 360 on such a small board 3'9"! I haven't gotten any airs yet, but can do hard cuts and slides, shove-it, ya right lol.

Yeah def need a category between Ivan and Adam. I can do 360's SOMETIMES, can get a little air OCCASIONALLY, cuts and slides and i guess i've got a little noob in me too cause i dont even know what a shove-it is.

If you're not Adam yet, then you're just Ivan that's getting closer to Adam. Sorry fellas....

Originally Posted by phathom

Definitely need something between Ivan and Adam.

I'm past an Ivan and just about an Adam.

I got 360s down, although they are line ridden 360s because I'm riding a board that I'm 60lbs over the weight limit on and it's hard to recover from a 360 on such a small board 3'9"! I haven't gotten any airs yet, but can do hard cuts and slides, shove-it, ya right lol.

LOL. "just about an adam". Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. You've pulled a couple line 360's. What, maybe the amount we could count on one hand? I'd hardly call that having them "down". And if you can only do them on a TINY skim board with virtually no fin, what does that say? I think one that has it "down" can do them ropeless on just about any board.

Don't get me wrong, you've progressed a TON in the year you've been riding. And you're now very solid. But let's not exagerate too much.



That said, there's a huge gap between an Ivan and an Adam. That's where I would imagine most of us fall. I can ride comfortably and agressively on just about any wave you throw at me, and on about any board. I am cutting and slashing up the wave. I can drop it down to ride it on one knee. Kick out the tail a little bit as I play on the top of the wake... But I don't kid myself thinking I'm an Adam of really even all that close.

You need a "Solid Sam" that's between Ivan and Adam.

like most others i'm between Ivan and Adam. I can do 360s most of the time on any board ( actually think surf style are easier). I can carve ride way back and recover, sit/stand, little airs.

I do always find it funny when people say "I can do it ropeless" I didn't think it counted as surfing or a surf trick if you are still using the rope. I understand the rope can be handy for learning but I don't think it counts if it's still in your hand.
I can land back rolls every time.....not behind a boat but on the trampoline.

Originally Posted by nailem

like most others i'm between Ivan and Adam. I can do 360s most of the time on any board ( actually think surf style are easier). I can carve ride way back and recover, sit/stand, little airs.

I do always find it funny when people say "I can do it ropeless" I didn't think it counted as surfing or a surf trick if you are still using the rope. I understand the rope can be handy for learning but I don't think it counts if it's still in your hand.
I can land back rolls every time.....not behind a boat but on the trampoline.

Exactly. I think we're on the same page.

#keepingithumble #notaninternetsuperhero

Pretty funny. Paul does not exist, at least not yet in the wakesurfing world.

Originally Posted by trayson

You need a "Solid Sam" that's between Ivan and Adam.

Yes, a Solid Sam sounds right and where a lot of us will fall, myself included.

Also, at least I can pull 360s, no line tension or rope assist used for it, just to keep riding since I'm riding too small of a board to recover from when you fall back in the wake.
I at least attempt them and fully spin them. I've seen your attempts at it that are basically a 90, get unsure if you want to commit to a spin, and then a faceplant while contemplating it mid stall.

I'm ordering the fins for the Caption now to replace the huge thrusters in the back, that board I can recover a ways back from and with less fin catching should be able to spin it as well.

At least I didn't claim I can do airs and shove-its that I definitely cannot do.

Originally Posted by Chaos

Pretty funny. Paul does not exist, at least not yet in the wakesurfing world.

PSsshhh... I'm Paul bro.

Eddie for sure.... I like to throw my empties back into the boat while getting left over monkey piss foam all over everyone just to show them IM DA BOSS

Originally Posted by phathom

Yes, a Solid Sam sounds right and where a lot of us will fall, myself included.

Also, at least I can pull 360s, no line tension or rope assist used for it, just to keep riding since I'm riding too small of a board to recover from when you fall back in the wake.
I at least attempt them and fully spin them. I've seen your attempts at it that are basically a 90, get unsure if you want to commit to a spin, and then a faceplant while contemplating it mid stall.

I'm ordering the fins for the Caption now to replace the huge thrusters in the back, that board I can recover a ways back from and with less fin catching should be able to spin it as well.

At least I didn't claim I can do airs and shove-its that I definitely cannot do.

LOLOL.

Just sayin' you talk big on WW sometimes.

And I woulda been the first person to say I suck at 360 attempts. Well, until Monday when I surprised myself and did 2 of the spin all the way around and fall out the back of the wake thing like yourself. And hey, I even did it on the board with the fins you said were too big. (though I think a pair of 1.5" fins hardly count as "thrusters". They're pretty small IMO.)

Go big or go home, right
The caption has 1.7" fins, true it is not a thruster setup without the center fin, but the style is similar if there were.

BTW:Congrats on the 360 attempt, best one I've seen out of you.